Review : Europa Universalis II

	Europa Universalis II
	Published by	Ubi Soft
	Genre	Rip-off
	Exactly the same as	Europa Universalis I
	Rating (1 - 10)	1
	Reviewer	RME
	Review date	May 2002

Questions

1. Why does so much that's bad have the initials "EU"?

2. What do you call a game ...

That claims to be compatible with Windows XP, but isn't (until you do a bit of tweaking that isn't instantly apparent. I mean, XP has only been in development for several years, the publishers can't be expected to do any work to make it genuinely compatible, can they?)
That as far as I can see gives the wrong version of DirectX as its minimum requirement (errr ...)
That's so shoddily programmed it doesn't properly error-trap and can crash your whole system in the manner of games we thought we'd left behind ten yars ago
That offers no support link that I could find on its official web site (the first time I've encountered such a ... ahem ... 'robust' approach to customer service)
That when you get it running on another PC turns out to be pretty much the same game as the one released 2 years ago, except for addressing some minor oversights (like a decent tutorial and the history of 50% of the planet)?

Answers

1. I don't know. But Eric Udderthwist will need to do me a few big favours before I'll buy him a pint.

2. You call it Europa Universalis II, and you pompously dedicate it to the "fans" who have just shelled out another thirty quid for the same game ... but with a "II" on the packaging. Ooooh!

Unfortunately, the online aftersales service doesn't bother to explain the II (i.e. the number of fingers shown to the fans to which the game is "dedicated"), but at least there are plenty of fawning reviews.

Bet they don't promote mine. And strangely, neither do they quote any of the major gaming magazine reviews - such as the April 2002 PC Gamer 58% hammering, which labelled the game "Incontinent".

I will give it a mark of 1 because I like the fact that Ireland is a country in this game, for once.

But frankly, I think I'm over-rating it.

If you have suffered the misfortune of purchasing this game, I recommend you hit Uninstall, use the CD to grout around the bath, and go buy Heroes of Might and Magic IV instead. It's no widow-maker, but it remembers that games are supposed to be fun ... that changing the number on the name isn't really worth thirty quid ... and at least it does what it says on the box :)

RME

Home | Top of Page